We finally have FINAL APPROVAL!!!

Guess who's coming home??!!

After several years of waiting, our adoption process is almost complete. We received final approval from the today, which means we can travel!  In less than a week......we will be parents! It's hard to believe that this long awaited moment is almost here. God is so good!

Our visa interview has been scheduled and our trip will be less than a week. We will be coming home with this little one soon!

An added bonus, we get to travel with some of the great families we met during our first trip to Korea. Please keep us all in your prayers. Please pray that our children have smooth transitions to their new families and that we are able to comfort them as they grieve the loss of their foster families. It's such a scary thing to start anew, especially when you are so young and don't understand. 

We will be sure to post photos and updates while we travel. Thank you all for your support throughout this process. We could not ask for a better support network!

Our Last 2 Days in Korea

Our second visit with Bennett was wonderful. He is such a happy healthy little boy. Our social worker and foster mother were thrilled at how easily Bennett got along with us. The SW said he usually cries when he visits the agency so they were both so happy that he has been all smiles during our visits. This would explain why he is crying in at least one picture we received every month for the past six months :)

He is very independent and is used to playing alone. However, he allowed us to be part of his world during each visit; very easy going. His laugh just made my day and he giggled every time he went down the slide. He even let David wrestle with him a little bit. It was cute to see the two having fun. The foster mother brought us several gifts during this second visit. We had been sending disposable cameras throughout this process and she developed all the photos and made an album for us. It was really sweet.

We didn't get a lot of our questions answered about Bennett's daily routine, but we did find out he doesn't like to have his hair messed with. He doesn't like to have it washed and cries when they try to cut it. Tears or no tears, we will be cutting his hair! The barrette is a little too much. Maybe we'll be able to pull it all up in a ponytail when we head back to SK ;) He doesn't watch a lot of TV or cartoons. He prefers commercials. Also, when asked what he likes to do (if not watching TV;) he likes to make a mess!! I'm not sure those translations were correct so our agency is going to email a list of questions for us in Korean,which I am very thankful for.

To be honest, Bennett really just fit with our family.  I know that sounds cliche, but I'm not quite sure how else to explain it. He is our son for sure and his personality just falls right in line with ours. It is such a great feeling to know that you were always meant to be. I can't believe that this journey has almost come to fruition. It's been a long time in the making (for those keeping track we submitted our application in September 2011).

Our court hearing came and went quickly. It was a short 5 minutes with a very easy going judge.  We had heard that some of the judges weren't very friendly.  Our judge is a new judge for adoptions and seemed to really enjoy working with the adoptive families. He said this was a happy part of his job (compared to other cases he hears). We were nervous walking into the courtroom, but it was all over very quickly. We primarily answered "yes" or "no" to questions based on information from our home study. We answered "yes" or "no" in Korean (because that's about as far as much as I have learned ;). The one question that really caught me off guard was about infertility; are we planning to have children of our own considering we do not suffer from infertility issues? The short answer is "yes" we would love to have bio children, but seeing that it was being asked in context to our adoption, I almost felt like it was a trick question. It is often assumed that we have infertility issues, but this adoption has always been plan A for us! We didn't know how to answer this question and also knowing the the translations were limited so we answered along the lines of "we'll see." Let's get this kiddo home before we start making other plans.

To celebrate our completed court hearings, our new group of friends went to a new pizza place in Insadong called Brew 3.14. The food was great and a perfect way to spend our final night in Seoul. This trip would have not been the same without our new friends. We are so thankful for them and hope to keep in touch! It's so great to go through this experience with others. We ended the night with an "underground" food tour part two with our tour guide Daniel (from the food tour in Day 2). He owns the pizza place and took us around to get some of our favorite foods from the tour to end our celebration. It was a great night!

We our home now and still recovering from jet lag. I got really sick on the flight back. I blame Korean TSA (just kidding). They would not let me take any extra water on the flight. I was so dehydrated. You go through the typical security check, but right before you board you go through a second security check where they throw away all liquids. Wish I had known this before I spent money only to have it thrown away!

We have yet to receive our court approval as we are now waiting the 14 day final relinquishment period. The birth mother has this final waiting time to relinquish her guardianship or take it back. We'll keep everyone updated. When we left our agency our social worker said she'll see us in month. Here's to traveling in March

Amanda

Here are some photos from our trip. I'll post photos of Bennett once we have our court approval!
This is Seoul Tower (a long steep walk up a really big hill). The view was amazing!

These photos are from one of the palaces. I loved the detail in the designs.

Days 2 & 3

Jetlag is starting to catch up with us, so instead of blogging, we've been sleeping. Day 2 in Korea was very rainy and cold. We had lunch at an east meets west restaurant called the Urban Sheriff. All of the waiters wore jean shirts with cowboy hats and gold stars. We had to wonder if that's what they think sheriffs really look like in the States. That evening we went on a food tour with our new friends and got to try some wonderful and some interesting, traditional Korean dishes. We got to try some rice flour treats as well as some traditional rolls and dumplings! The dumplings were so good. One of our favorite foods was a fried donut filled with cinnamon goodness. Amanda was brave and tried blood sausage. It was definitely not her favorite and she won't be eating it ever again. We ended the night at a great BBQ.

Our tour guide was amazing. He is an adult adoptee and who now lives in Korea. He owns O'ngo Food Commnunications and writes for several food publications. He's also met Andrew Zimmern from Bizarre Foods!  He had a lot of great insight into Korean culture and many adoptees now living in Korea. He recently opened a pizza restaurant so we will all be returning there tomorrow for dinner to celebrate our court hearings being completed!

Day 3 was a sightseeing day. We visited some of the traditional markets like Namdaemun. We also visited the National Museum of Korea, which is enormous. We enjoyed seeing Seoul Tower and visiting some of the palaces. Needless to say, Seoul is a huge city with so much to do. Hopefully, we'll get to do a bit more sightseeing before we leave and as long as the weather cooperates.

We will write again a about our second meeting with Bennett and our lunch with the president of ESWS.

Until then, here are some pics from our good tour!

Here are some photos from sightseeing too! 

This photo is for my dad! Got to love the shooting range add!

Day 1 in SK

To my coworkers, you will enjoy this......contrary to popular belief, I do not look like a Fay-sian (fake Asian) to the people of South Korea!  I thought people in SK would take one look at me and know I am a Fay-sian! However, the only thing that's really given any indication is the fact that David is with me.  He is definitely the minority. It's so funny how everyone assumes I know what they are talking about. They rattle off Korean and I just give them this blank stare. It started on the flight to SK. All of the Korean stewardesses spoke in Korean and it has continued from there. I'm learning a little, but it's a very difficult language. I've mastered the currency. Food however has been a challenge. As much as I want to eat some authentic Korean, it's difficult when the entire menu is Hangul. There aren't even pictures for me to point to. Therefore, we've been taking it slow with food and have only had Pizza Hut and Popyes Chicken. We found more restaurants in a college district near our guest house that have both English and Korean so the food should improve tomorrow. We also found this great pastry shop called Paris Baguette. Best pastries I have ever had! Tomorrow we are going on a street food tour with some of our adoption friends. I can't wait to tell you all about it! 

Our first meeting with Bennett was great; very laid back. Our social worker spoke very little English, which made our visit a little challenging. We were supposed to take some of this visit to ask questions to help us with the transitions on our pick up trip. However, with the language barrier it was difficult. The social worker initially left us all alone which was also awkward. No introductions, just take your shoes off and go in this room.  The foster mother was talking up a storm in Korean and I just smiled and nodded.  I wish I knew what she was saying. 

The FM showed us pictures of Bennett's second birthday party. He is definitely loved by her family. He loved David's cell phone and kept acting like he was talking on the phone to someone. He has a great imagination and naturally is a very busy two year old. He loved going down this small slide. He would laugh and giggle everytime he slid down. He would let David catch him and then climb back up and slide down again. He even sat in my lap and colored a picture for us (thanks Nana for sending the crayons). We have our first piece if artwork from our little one; just one of the things so easily taken for granted. A piece of paper with a bunch of scribbles :) We get to see him again on Monday and will also have a lunch with the director of the agency. I hope to have better pictures at that time. He moves so fast. It's hard to get good photos.

We volunteered with the babies at the agency this evening. It was exhausting! There were about 10 children under the age of 1 and 5 toddlers in one room. There was one worker in our room. It was a sad sight. Most of them were sick with colds and left in cribs or on play mats. The room was so hot too; about 85-90 degrees. The babies were sweating, We were sweating! David hung out with the toddlers and helped feed them. I stayed with the little ones and helped with feedings and put most of them to bed. Many of them were also teething so there were a lot of unhappy little ones. Hopefully, they will get to go to a foster family soon. There was another room that had all of the newborn babies. They were so tiny and precious; just waiting for their forever families.

That's all for now! Love and hugs to you all!

Amanda 

Korea Here We Come!

I needed a break from packing so I wanted to have one more blog posting before we depart. I cannot believe that we will meet our son on Friday! I've had constant heartburn for the past few weeks and a lot of sleepless nights thinking about this trip. Anxiety and stress is high, but it is all worth it.

We are sad about leaving our pups, because they have been our babies for so long. However, we know they will be well taken care of. We're worried about Frank because he stops eating when we travel. Annie will be okay, but poor Frank hates being away from family.

We will have WiFi during our trip and will be keeping everyone updated via our blog and Facebook. However, we will be 15 hours ahead of ya'll. You can keep track of the time here: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/city.html?n=235.  If there is an emergency you can message us for free through Kakao Talk, which is a free chat/instant message app (like texting). We'll be using this to communicate with our friends in Korea and back at home. You can look me up by my cell phone number or David's cell phone and we can chat from there.

So far we have a Korean street food tour scheduled in addition to our meetings with Bennett. We're looking forward to meeting some of the other adoptive families we have met online too.

Please keep us in your prayers as we embark upon this journey of a lifetime!

We are ready for Trip #1

Needless to say, 2013 has been a good year. It's been a roller coaster of emotions, but we are definitely ending things on a marvelous note. God is good!!  There is a light at the end of our adoption tunnel as we have a court date scheduled for the end of January.  We are lucky in that we have over a month to make travel plans; so often, things happen so quickly that there is not time to adequately plan. Our flights have been scheduled.  We are thankful that there is a direct flight to Seoul from DFW. The main concern with the flight is the fact that its 16 hours! 16 HOURS! We've never been on a flight that long. We're not by any outlets either :( We're planning on buying those recharging devices because we know our iPads will not last that long. Does anyone have a brand or model suggestion for one of these devices?

We researched hotels and decided to stay at the Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS), which is the organization that handles affairs surrounding adoption, children and families in need, etc. ESWS has a guest house that is available for families. Space is limited so we were fortunate to reserve one of their three rooms. It has alleviated a lot of travel stress for us because the guest house is actually in the same building where we will first meet Bennett, our foster mother, Mrs. Lee, along with our social worker and other ESWS staff. It will be nice to simply take the elevator down a few floors for major meetings instead of having to navigate Seoul. We also have "met" (via a group on Facebook) two families who will be in Korea the same time that we will be. We all have court on the same day and are likely with the same judge as we're scheduled in back-to-back 10 minute increments. One of the families is staying at the ESWS guest home as well so we are looking forward to "knowing" someone.

We are researching all the touristy things we can do during our trip. I would like to visit the hospital where I was born and see what else I can find about my beginnings. We meet Bennett the first business day in Korea and then court is not for another 4 days. We wish we could see him more than once, but it looks like only one visit. We are also trying to figure out what to get for everyone in Korea. We are supposed to give gifts to our foster mother (and her family), social worker, and the ESWS staff. It's hard to give gifts to people you've never met. We would like our gifts to be somewhat meaningful, but we are struggling. For Mrs. Lee I am making her a scrapbook of all the photos we've received throughout our process. We've also had an ornament made with one of our favorite Bennett photos to give her. It's hard to give gifts that truly express your gratitude for the care and love they've given your child for the past two years. As for the social worker and the staff, we're at a loss. Any suggestions?

On another note, to those that ordered in our coffee fundraiser, thank you! We don't receive a list of those who order through our site. I requested one, but they don't save personal information from orders to pass along. We are going to continue to take orders into 2014! Shop online at Ground to Cup Coffee.

I'm sure I'll have many more questions for everyone and be needing advice as we countdown to our first trip. Stay tuned for more posts.
Amanda (and David)

PS: For the most part, Bennett's room is complete. I've posted before and after pictures below. The blue/green table is a train table and we'll eventually move that out into our living room to make a play area. I will be putting a reading corner together where the table currently is located. I've ordered these plastic shelves that you mount on the walls and hope to add a nice rocker.


   

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!

I cannot even begin to explain how in shock I am................reality still has not set in........

Our court date is scheduled for January 28th. I don't have all the details of our first trip yet, but I'll post more once I've been able to stop hyperventilating. 

The first thought that came to my mind was the panic of, "I'm not ready to be a mom." We've waited so long that this is all so surreal. Needless to say we are looking at flights and getting a hotel booked. Please keep us in your thoughts as we get ready for this final leg in our adoption journey!

Love, Amanda (and David)

PS: We're raising money for our final trips with Ground to Cup Coffee. Please consider shopping with this great business. Their coffee is wonderful. You can shop the Duvall Fundraiser page at: http://www.groundtocupcoffee.com/online-store/merchant.mvc?Store_Code=COFFEE&Screen=PLST&Affiliate=duvall3318

You can also make donations via PayPal through our blog!

Food for Thought: Growing up Asian (and new Bennett pictures)

A dear friend of mine sent me this article, Finding My Voice: Growing Up Asian and Adopted in the Midwest and it resonated with me. I wanted to share it as it all too eloquently puts things into a familiar perspective. I often have nightmares that I am back in that time and kids are still asking me if I'm related to Mrs. Pancake because I have a flat face or that when I'm meeting someone for the first time and because I have an "American" name - they are surprised when I am not white, but Asian. Yes, I once had a group of kids refuse to talk to me once they met me in person and realized I wasn't white.

I grew up wanting to look like my white friends from their blond hair and round eyes. I hated who I was because everyone made fun of my almond eyes and the fact that I was different. The worst was that teachers from school to Sunday School were also antagonizing. I will never forget when one of my Sunday School teachers taped a Snickers bar upside down to the board and asked me if I could read it. Everyone laughed (including myself), but it's things like this that have stayed with me over the years. I don't think I ever went back to Sunday School after that incident and ironically this teacher went on to adopt children of his own. I'd always hoped he didn't antagonize his own children like he had done to me that day.

I don't share this with you for your sympathy, but as a reminder that words hurt and even though they may be only words they stay with you. Yes, you can move on and forgive, but it's experiences like these that can cause you to have a different outlook.  I became very bitter and hateful and pushed people away.  I was so unhappy growing up and hated everyone and everything. It wasn't until I went to college that I learned to embrace these differences and be proud of who I was.

Self-esteem is something we all struggle with at one point or another. It's important to teach our children to love themselves, which can be difficult to do. The first step is learning to love ourselves and set an example; something I still struggle to do. I worry about the words that may get said to my own child and how I will handle his tears. I hope that I can set a good example and teach my son to love who he is. I want him to grow up loving life and loving who he is.

"Power to the People"

Adoption Update - No travel for us this year

So far we have been waiting 7 weeks for EP to be issued.  Right now it's been taking up to 12 weeks for EP to be issued due to staffing changes in the Ministry. Apparently, entire departments have been restaffed and changed (of course this would have to happen during our process). So that means there is not a chance for us to travel this year. Once EP is issued it will take another 4-5 weeks (or longer) for the Courts to review our case. It would be great if we could travel and be with Bennett on his second birthday (Jan. 14), but that's not looking likely either. Needless to say, I'm a little bitter.  Whatever happened to us traveling in August of 2013!

Today has been rather heartbreaking for me.  It's Orphan Sunday and I'm still without my child.  The wait gets to me some days more than others, but lately it really has me down.  I have no motivation to work on his room and honestly, it feels like this process is never going to happen. That's how I feel today. When we were first matched with Bennett in August 2012, I was so excited to be a mom. Now, we've waited for so long, I feel like it's never going to happen. Our adoption bill keeps going up, but we are no closer to bringing home Bennett.

On other news, our home study update is done. Let's hope that it's the last update we have to do. 

I promise that the next update will be more peppy!

Love, Amanda

Exciting News!

We've had some exciting news, which turned out to be the perfect gift on our 5th anniversary (Friday 13th). We are one step closer to Court. Currently, our case has been submitted to the Ministry for Emigration Permission. This process takes anywhere from 3-8 weeks.  Some cases have been taking 10+ weeks so we hope ours will stay under 8 weeks.  It's so exciting to see some movement. To date, our agency has had 5 families travel and are home with their little ones. It's great to know that things are moving slowly, but surely.
We're still waiting to receive our FBI clearances. We sent them in 3 weeks ago. It takes 4-6 weeks to receive the clearances so hopefully they'll get here soon. We also have been asked to update our home study. We updated it when we moved to TX last year and hoped we wouldn't have to update anything until our CIS paperwork expired. However, judges in Korea have been wanting home studies to have been completed in the last year. Our last home study was completed at the end of October 2012. We're cutting it close so our agency has asked us to update "just in case." I'm glad that we're covered in case, but it's more money and a home study does not come cheap.

We also found out that we won't be getting updated photos this month, which is sad. There are a lot of holidays in Korea this month so social worker's are not taking photos like they usually do. At least I think that's why they're not taking them. Either way, I know we won't be getting anything new. :( However, I don't think I ever shared last month's photos. So I thought I'd share one now. He looks so grown up in this photo!

Until next time,
Amanda and David