Our Last Week At Home

It's hard to believe that this is my last week home with my little one. I go back to work next week. The 12 weeks at home has flown by, but I've enjoyed my time with Bennett. Although exhausting and sometimes trying, it has been a very memorable experience. I am so thankful that I was able to spend this time at home with him. I know many people are not able to take the time away from work and I am truly blessed to have been able to. Thank you to everyone who has hosted Thirty-One parties to help me generate some income while I have been off of work. I'm still looking for hostesses this summer so please email me or comment if you are interested.

This means Bennett will be headed to preschool next week. We visited his classroom and met his teachers last week. The children in his classroom already have backpacks at two years old! I am nervous how this first week will go. It's taken almost a month going 2x a week to church for him to get used to the nursery. Hopefully, this adjustment will go a little smoother since he is more settled. Either way I'm a nervous wreck. I know he will be fine and that it will help him learn, but it's bittersweet for me. He's gone through so many changes in these past few months; I have a lot of guilt for putting him through yet another big change.

   (These are the many reasons I love diffusing!)

Speaking of work, it will be very different when I return. One of my favorite co-workers won't be there and the building I work in is being renovated. It was being added onto when I left.  Now that the new edition is being finalized they have closed the first and third floors of the original building for renovation. Lucky me will get to work on the second floor in the midst of chaos and sawdust. So, guess what's coming to work with me? My Young Living Diffuser. And what essential oil will I be diffusing? Purification. Since my office has been closed up for 3 months it will need some purifying with all of the odors and gunk in the air. I guess that means I'm going to have to purchase another diffuser for home.          

(This is what my kit contained)

So, for those who have not heard of Young Living or essential oils, it is my new obsession. I wish I knew about essential oils (EO's) a long time ago. I recently attended a Young Living session where I learned a lot of about EO's and what they can replace in your medicine cabinet for your kiddos and pets, even household cleaning products. I am all about using less drugs and chemicals and a natural form of treatment instead. After some research, I decided to order the Premium Starter Kit. I found this to be the best deal as it gives me 11 EO's and the diffuser (along with some other stuff) and it allows me to purchase oils at the wholesale price versus retail. I've been using the oils for a week now                      
and I am hooked and love all the great things they have
done for our home, my health, my son, and my pups.
To all my friends with children and pets, EO's is a
wonderful alternative for OTC and prescription medicines.

These are the basic oils you receive in the kit. I used this chart to get started in how to apply them. I love how each oil has multiple uses. I've tried all of the oils except Valor. However, I have been doing research on how Valor can be used for pet anxiety, which both of my dogs have had a lot of anxiety lately. I've always hated giving them tranquilizers to calm them down so I'm excited for this alternative.Right now, my two favorite oils are Thieves (smells like cinnamon) and Frankincense. Thieves is antibacterial and antimicrobial so I love to diffuse it in our home and Bennett's room when he is feeling sickly or there is an illness going around. I've ordered this in a spray as well. I put it on the bottom of Bennett's feet to help boost his immune system too. Frankincense has been great for my skin. I have extremely oily skin and frankincense has helped clear it up. It also is getting rid of skin tags on myself and on our dog. Lavender is also in my top faves as it helps with bug bites and is a natural antihistamine. I'm ready to forgo the two prescriptions I have for allergies and try EO's. You can ingest the oils by adding them to your drink, food, or capsules in addition to diffusing them and using them topically.

I'm sure I'll post more about essential oils as I learn more. It's all so interesting to me how something taken from nature can be so beneficial and healthy. If you want to learn more you can check out some helpful websites: Dolf Cheng's Website or Baby Steps to Essential Oils . If you would like to order something let me know. I'd be happy to let you use my wholesale discount to try some oils out.

Enjoy your week. I know I'll be savoring every last bit of my last week of maternity leave.

First Mother's Day

Yes you are at the right blog. I've decided to do a blog makeover now that Bennett is home.

It's hard to believe that we celebrated our first Mother's Day as a family. It's also hard to believe that we've been together for almost 8 weeks. Time has gone by quickly, yet it feels like he's been home much longer.

Bennett finally got to meet family as my parents came down for a visit. He had a great time with them especially when he got to visit the aquarium and eat some yummy Korean food. We found a Korean grocery store in Dallas and bought some of Bennett's favorite Korean foods. It is great to be able to give him a taste of his birth culture right here in Texas. We also had excellent mandu and bipmibap as there is a Korean food court in the grocery store. We found out B LOVES pickled radishes and cabbage so we made sure to buy some before we left. It was great to see many Korean delicacies and to buy pastries from a Korean pastry shop. It reminded us of being back in Korea. However, the pastries were not as good as Paris Baguette (Pastry shop in Korea where there is one on every corner. We miss that place so much!)

As far as the transition goes, we could not have asked for a smoother adjustment period. We keep waiting for the grieving to hit, but it hasn't. He has had a very seamless transition to our home and family. We can only account this to his great foster family. Speaking of our foster family, a few weeks after we left Korea they received another foster child; a chubby 8 month old boy.  Please keep him in your prayers as he waits for his forever family. 

Although we have not had any transitional/adjustment issues we have had plenty of toddler issues. Bath time continues to get better, but tooth brushing has not been pleasant. He is a stubborn kiddo, but that's what we get. Lord knows we were both stubborn kids too. 

On another note, everyone tells you parenting is hard. This I know, but all the books and advice in the world don't prepare you for the emotional roller coaster that parenting can be. I had an idea of it, but it's different from reading a book to experiencing it first hand. I have never felt so much guilt and failure. It's hard not to blame yourself for every tantrum and parenting fail. There are days it's so exhausting and then I feel guilty for letting it all get to me. It's crazy that a two-year old can bring me to the brink of tears one minute and then to anger the next.  Alas, it's part of the parenting adventure, but one I wished people would chat about a little more. Before we brought Bennett home someone told me that it's okay to cry and to have regrets. There may be days that I regret becoming a parent and that it's normal to feel this way. These words have been of great comfort to me these past few months. No parent is perfect even though we all strive to be. Mistakes will be made and I need to learn to be okay with that.

In closing, this is the last week to shop our Thirty-One fundraiser. We are hosting this last fundraiser to make up for the funds we never received from our coffee fundraiser. Shop online: www.mythirtyone.com/duvall

A Week of Firsts

This week has been a week of firsts. This is the first week I am by myself with B-man as David has returned to work. Things had been pretty easy those first 3 weeks with us sharing the day-to-day tasks. However, I am exhausted this week. Thank goodness the weekend is almost here :)

We had our first doctors appointment this week. We left with 3 shots and one hysterical two year old. He was not happy to say the least, but honestly who is after 3 shots. He didn't like that he had to take his shoes off to get weighed (he has this thing with taking his shoes off) and it all went down hill from there. On another note, the doctor was great and Bennett is right on track.

We had our first round of sickness full of the first fever and the first time I've had to clean up puke! Ewww! Oh the joy of parenthood, right?! :)  Any tips to allow a two year old to take his temperature are much appreciated. They wiggle so much it's hard to get a good reading.

We also had our first bath with no tears. We have gone to great lengths to make bath time more relaxing. Who knew a few pitchers of water and a cup would make bath time better. I was pre-filling pitchers with water so he wouldn't have to hear the water run (this seemed to cause anxiety). We just used the water from the pitchers throughout our bath time. We also didn't fill the tub with water. We've now gotten to the point that he runs to the bathroom when he hears the water running and is excited to get into the tub. He's still not thrilled about having his hair washed, but many kiddos aren't. He even has wanted to stay in the tub to play; pouring water from pitcher to cup and vice versa. He even started pouring water on himself and on his head! It's been a great victory for us to see him happy and not terrified to take a bath.

Thank you to those who have ordered for our Thirty-One fundraiser (as a reminder we are still fundraising to make up for the funds not given to us from our coffee fundraiser). Here's the link to shop until 4/15 at noon CST: http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E4413508&from=DIRECTLINK

Enjoy your weekend. We will be headed to our first Easter Egg hunt!

Getting Settled In

I've been meaning to post for quite sometime now, but it's become a bit harder to do with a toddler running around :)  It's hard to believe that we've only been home with our little one for almost 3 weeks! My how time flies. Although he's only been home for a short time it feels like he's been here much longer. We've come a long way since taking initial custody on March 11.That first week in Korea was rough with a lot of grieving and a lot of testing the waters like any toddler would do. Sleeping was difficult and bath time was a chore (bath time is still a chore). We also went through a lot of hitting and spitting, but that's much better now. He rarely does either.

He has found his way around our household. Once we got over toddler jet lag (which is horrible) he started sleeping in his own crib and sleeps through the night. We've had it pretty easy on the sleeping. He also is the best eater. He will try anything, but outside of the normal toddler food he loves meat (any kind of meat from chicken, pork, and beef) and any kind of potato chips. The food that has most surprised us is onions. He loves sauteed onions. He eats them like french fries.

The dogs are also getting used to him. He loves the dogs and loves to watch them play. Annie is very laid back and lets Bennett pet on her and give her kisses. Frank is a different story. He is very apprehensive and protective of the two of us. He does see B as somewhat of a threat and has not been as tolerant as Annie has been. B is learning to keep his distance, but when he hears Frank bark he thinks it's hysterical. B will immediately start barking with Frank. To think I was more worried about Bennett being afraid of the dogs, not the other way around.

Bennett has slowly been meeting a few people here and there and has stayed in the church nursery for a little while. Right now we are still working on the bonding process and we grow closer with each day that passes. We're fortunate that both of us get to spend sometime at home with him. Bonding with a toddler is very different than an infant. We've had to earn his trust and love and at the same time build structure for him to help him with this transition. In the beginning we didn't get a lot of affection from him and he didn't even want to hold our hands. Now, we do get many hugs and kisses throughout the day and he will let you hold his hand, etc. It's amazing how these little things have made such a difference for us. He calls us omma and appa (mom and dad in Korean), but he still doesn't quite understand what that means. He will let anyone hold him and freely gives hugs to strangers, but we are working on that. I guess it's better than him crying when he meets anyone new.

In other news, I feel the need to update everyone on our coffee fundraiser - it was a bust. We sold so much coffee and had so many orders from all of you, but the company never sent us a check. They told us we would receive a check for $400, but that never came. We did receive a small check (less than $100) and were repeatedly told that the remainder of our money would be sent soon. They've never been received and the company has stopped returning my calls and emails. Apparently, the company went out of business and took all of our fundraising money with them. Needless to say we are devastated as we were counting on this money to help pay for final travel. I also feel bad because many of you helped us by placing an order with this company. This company came to us highly recommended as we have had friends and businesses in the area use them previously for fundraising. To help make up for this money we will be hosting fundraisers through my Thirty-One business. This way the funds are guaranteed. We will be hosting one starting today and running until April 15 and a second fundraiser in May to start the new summer catalog. You can shop online at: http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E4413508&from=DIRECTLINK 

We finally have FINAL APPROVAL!!!

Guess who's coming home??!!

After several years of waiting, our adoption process is almost complete. We received final approval from the today, which means we can travel!  In less than a week......we will be parents! It's hard to believe that this long awaited moment is almost here. God is so good!

Our visa interview has been scheduled and our trip will be less than a week. We will be coming home with this little one soon!

An added bonus, we get to travel with some of the great families we met during our first trip to Korea. Please keep us all in your prayers. Please pray that our children have smooth transitions to their new families and that we are able to comfort them as they grieve the loss of their foster families. It's such a scary thing to start anew, especially when you are so young and don't understand. 

We will be sure to post photos and updates while we travel. Thank you all for your support throughout this process. We could not ask for a better support network!

Our Last 2 Days in Korea

Our second visit with Bennett was wonderful. He is such a happy healthy little boy. Our social worker and foster mother were thrilled at how easily Bennett got along with us. The SW said he usually cries when he visits the agency so they were both so happy that he has been all smiles during our visits. This would explain why he is crying in at least one picture we received every month for the past six months :)

He is very independent and is used to playing alone. However, he allowed us to be part of his world during each visit; very easy going. His laugh just made my day and he giggled every time he went down the slide. He even let David wrestle with him a little bit. It was cute to see the two having fun. The foster mother brought us several gifts during this second visit. We had been sending disposable cameras throughout this process and she developed all the photos and made an album for us. It was really sweet.

We didn't get a lot of our questions answered about Bennett's daily routine, but we did find out he doesn't like to have his hair messed with. He doesn't like to have it washed and cries when they try to cut it. Tears or no tears, we will be cutting his hair! The barrette is a little too much. Maybe we'll be able to pull it all up in a ponytail when we head back to SK ;) He doesn't watch a lot of TV or cartoons. He prefers commercials. Also, when asked what he likes to do (if not watching TV;) he likes to make a mess!! I'm not sure those translations were correct so our agency is going to email a list of questions for us in Korean,which I am very thankful for.

To be honest, Bennett really just fit with our family.  I know that sounds cliche, but I'm not quite sure how else to explain it. He is our son for sure and his personality just falls right in line with ours. It is such a great feeling to know that you were always meant to be. I can't believe that this journey has almost come to fruition. It's been a long time in the making (for those keeping track we submitted our application in September 2011).

Our court hearing came and went quickly. It was a short 5 minutes with a very easy going judge.  We had heard that some of the judges weren't very friendly.  Our judge is a new judge for adoptions and seemed to really enjoy working with the adoptive families. He said this was a happy part of his job (compared to other cases he hears). We were nervous walking into the courtroom, but it was all over very quickly. We primarily answered "yes" or "no" to questions based on information from our home study. We answered "yes" or "no" in Korean (because that's about as far as much as I have learned ;). The one question that really caught me off guard was about infertility; are we planning to have children of our own considering we do not suffer from infertility issues? The short answer is "yes" we would love to have bio children, but seeing that it was being asked in context to our adoption, I almost felt like it was a trick question. It is often assumed that we have infertility issues, but this adoption has always been plan A for us! We didn't know how to answer this question and also knowing the the translations were limited so we answered along the lines of "we'll see." Let's get this kiddo home before we start making other plans.

To celebrate our completed court hearings, our new group of friends went to a new pizza place in Insadong called Brew 3.14. The food was great and a perfect way to spend our final night in Seoul. This trip would have not been the same without our new friends. We are so thankful for them and hope to keep in touch! It's so great to go through this experience with others. We ended the night with an "underground" food tour part two with our tour guide Daniel (from the food tour in Day 2). He owns the pizza place and took us around to get some of our favorite foods from the tour to end our celebration. It was a great night!

We our home now and still recovering from jet lag. I got really sick on the flight back. I blame Korean TSA (just kidding). They would not let me take any extra water on the flight. I was so dehydrated. You go through the typical security check, but right before you board you go through a second security check where they throw away all liquids. Wish I had known this before I spent money only to have it thrown away!

We have yet to receive our court approval as we are now waiting the 14 day final relinquishment period. The birth mother has this final waiting time to relinquish her guardianship or take it back. We'll keep everyone updated. When we left our agency our social worker said she'll see us in month. Here's to traveling in March

Amanda

Here are some photos from our trip. I'll post photos of Bennett once we have our court approval!
This is Seoul Tower (a long steep walk up a really big hill). The view was amazing!

These photos are from one of the palaces. I loved the detail in the designs.

Days 2 & 3

Jetlag is starting to catch up with us, so instead of blogging, we've been sleeping. Day 2 in Korea was very rainy and cold. We had lunch at an east meets west restaurant called the Urban Sheriff. All of the waiters wore jean shirts with cowboy hats and gold stars. We had to wonder if that's what they think sheriffs really look like in the States. That evening we went on a food tour with our new friends and got to try some wonderful and some interesting, traditional Korean dishes. We got to try some rice flour treats as well as some traditional rolls and dumplings! The dumplings were so good. One of our favorite foods was a fried donut filled with cinnamon goodness. Amanda was brave and tried blood sausage. It was definitely not her favorite and she won't be eating it ever again. We ended the night at a great BBQ.

Our tour guide was amazing. He is an adult adoptee and who now lives in Korea. He owns O'ngo Food Commnunications and writes for several food publications. He's also met Andrew Zimmern from Bizarre Foods!  He had a lot of great insight into Korean culture and many adoptees now living in Korea. He recently opened a pizza restaurant so we will all be returning there tomorrow for dinner to celebrate our court hearings being completed!

Day 3 was a sightseeing day. We visited some of the traditional markets like Namdaemun. We also visited the National Museum of Korea, which is enormous. We enjoyed seeing Seoul Tower and visiting some of the palaces. Needless to say, Seoul is a huge city with so much to do. Hopefully, we'll get to do a bit more sightseeing before we leave and as long as the weather cooperates.

We will write again a about our second meeting with Bennett and our lunch with the president of ESWS.

Until then, here are some pics from our good tour!

Here are some photos from sightseeing too! 

This photo is for my dad! Got to love the shooting range add!

Day 1 in SK

To my coworkers, you will enjoy this......contrary to popular belief, I do not look like a Fay-sian (fake Asian) to the people of South Korea!  I thought people in SK would take one look at me and know I am a Fay-sian! However, the only thing that's really given any indication is the fact that David is with me.  He is definitely the minority. It's so funny how everyone assumes I know what they are talking about. They rattle off Korean and I just give them this blank stare. It started on the flight to SK. All of the Korean stewardesses spoke in Korean and it has continued from there. I'm learning a little, but it's a very difficult language. I've mastered the currency. Food however has been a challenge. As much as I want to eat some authentic Korean, it's difficult when the entire menu is Hangul. There aren't even pictures for me to point to. Therefore, we've been taking it slow with food and have only had Pizza Hut and Popyes Chicken. We found more restaurants in a college district near our guest house that have both English and Korean so the food should improve tomorrow. We also found this great pastry shop called Paris Baguette. Best pastries I have ever had! Tomorrow we are going on a street food tour with some of our adoption friends. I can't wait to tell you all about it! 

Our first meeting with Bennett was great; very laid back. Our social worker spoke very little English, which made our visit a little challenging. We were supposed to take some of this visit to ask questions to help us with the transitions on our pick up trip. However, with the language barrier it was difficult. The social worker initially left us all alone which was also awkward. No introductions, just take your shoes off and go in this room.  The foster mother was talking up a storm in Korean and I just smiled and nodded.  I wish I knew what she was saying. 

The FM showed us pictures of Bennett's second birthday party. He is definitely loved by her family. He loved David's cell phone and kept acting like he was talking on the phone to someone. He has a great imagination and naturally is a very busy two year old. He loved going down this small slide. He would laugh and giggle everytime he slid down. He would let David catch him and then climb back up and slide down again. He even sat in my lap and colored a picture for us (thanks Nana for sending the crayons). We have our first piece if artwork from our little one; just one of the things so easily taken for granted. A piece of paper with a bunch of scribbles :) We get to see him again on Monday and will also have a lunch with the director of the agency. I hope to have better pictures at that time. He moves so fast. It's hard to get good photos.

We volunteered with the babies at the agency this evening. It was exhausting! There were about 10 children under the age of 1 and 5 toddlers in one room. There was one worker in our room. It was a sad sight. Most of them were sick with colds and left in cribs or on play mats. The room was so hot too; about 85-90 degrees. The babies were sweating, We were sweating! David hung out with the toddlers and helped feed them. I stayed with the little ones and helped with feedings and put most of them to bed. Many of them were also teething so there were a lot of unhappy little ones. Hopefully, they will get to go to a foster family soon. There was another room that had all of the newborn babies. They were so tiny and precious; just waiting for their forever families.

That's all for now! Love and hugs to you all!

Amanda 

Korea Here We Come!

I needed a break from packing so I wanted to have one more blog posting before we depart. I cannot believe that we will meet our son on Friday! I've had constant heartburn for the past few weeks and a lot of sleepless nights thinking about this trip. Anxiety and stress is high, but it is all worth it.

We are sad about leaving our pups, because they have been our babies for so long. However, we know they will be well taken care of. We're worried about Frank because he stops eating when we travel. Annie will be okay, but poor Frank hates being away from family.

We will have WiFi during our trip and will be keeping everyone updated via our blog and Facebook. However, we will be 15 hours ahead of ya'll. You can keep track of the time here: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/city.html?n=235.  If there is an emergency you can message us for free through Kakao Talk, which is a free chat/instant message app (like texting). We'll be using this to communicate with our friends in Korea and back at home. You can look me up by my cell phone number or David's cell phone and we can chat from there.

So far we have a Korean street food tour scheduled in addition to our meetings with Bennett. We're looking forward to meeting some of the other adoptive families we have met online too.

Please keep us in your prayers as we embark upon this journey of a lifetime!

We are ready for Trip #1

Needless to say, 2013 has been a good year. It's been a roller coaster of emotions, but we are definitely ending things on a marvelous note. God is good!!  There is a light at the end of our adoption tunnel as we have a court date scheduled for the end of January.  We are lucky in that we have over a month to make travel plans; so often, things happen so quickly that there is not time to adequately plan. Our flights have been scheduled.  We are thankful that there is a direct flight to Seoul from DFW. The main concern with the flight is the fact that its 16 hours! 16 HOURS! We've never been on a flight that long. We're not by any outlets either :( We're planning on buying those recharging devices because we know our iPads will not last that long. Does anyone have a brand or model suggestion for one of these devices?

We researched hotels and decided to stay at the Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS), which is the organization that handles affairs surrounding adoption, children and families in need, etc. ESWS has a guest house that is available for families. Space is limited so we were fortunate to reserve one of their three rooms. It has alleviated a lot of travel stress for us because the guest house is actually in the same building where we will first meet Bennett, our foster mother, Mrs. Lee, along with our social worker and other ESWS staff. It will be nice to simply take the elevator down a few floors for major meetings instead of having to navigate Seoul. We also have "met" (via a group on Facebook) two families who will be in Korea the same time that we will be. We all have court on the same day and are likely with the same judge as we're scheduled in back-to-back 10 minute increments. One of the families is staying at the ESWS guest home as well so we are looking forward to "knowing" someone.

We are researching all the touristy things we can do during our trip. I would like to visit the hospital where I was born and see what else I can find about my beginnings. We meet Bennett the first business day in Korea and then court is not for another 4 days. We wish we could see him more than once, but it looks like only one visit. We are also trying to figure out what to get for everyone in Korea. We are supposed to give gifts to our foster mother (and her family), social worker, and the ESWS staff. It's hard to give gifts to people you've never met. We would like our gifts to be somewhat meaningful, but we are struggling. For Mrs. Lee I am making her a scrapbook of all the photos we've received throughout our process. We've also had an ornament made with one of our favorite Bennett photos to give her. It's hard to give gifts that truly express your gratitude for the care and love they've given your child for the past two years. As for the social worker and the staff, we're at a loss. Any suggestions?

On another note, to those that ordered in our coffee fundraiser, thank you! We don't receive a list of those who order through our site. I requested one, but they don't save personal information from orders to pass along. We are going to continue to take orders into 2014! Shop online at Ground to Cup Coffee.

I'm sure I'll have many more questions for everyone and be needing advice as we countdown to our first trip. Stay tuned for more posts.
Amanda (and David)

PS: For the most part, Bennett's room is complete. I've posted before and after pictures below. The blue/green table is a train table and we'll eventually move that out into our living room to make a play area. I will be putting a reading corner together where the table currently is located. I've ordered these plastic shelves that you mount on the walls and hope to add a nice rocker.